A frigid morning welcomed me with open arms today. Tossing and turning, I mustered the energy to get out of bed. It was challenging, for certain, as the central heating malfunctioned throughout the night. It left my humble shack devoid of warmth.
As I pulled the blinds of my room, a white, frosted wall hindered my view. The inconsequential, yet familiar and reassuring outdoors were no more. A blank canvas replaced it.
It was going to be one of those days. Suit up for the harsh weather ahead, pick up my shovel and get to it, same old. Or so it seemed. My mind played its tricks on me, for the last time.
Turns out, I was still bedridden. The bitter cold had me in a synchronic shivering paralysis. Its icy, gentle caress crept in, merciless and unerring.
With a yielding approach, I resolved to reminisce as my presence in this world ran its course. The outset of my fleeting memoirs began with my decision to lead a life of isolation in this cabin. Time was of essence, everything before that turning point I deemed irrelevant.
A glimpse of a recollection crossed my mind: the need to disappear. Faint images of quarrels between loved ones brushed my psyche. A paroxysm of anguish struck my heart. An inordinate amount of time, squandered on petty grievances. Ah, the assault of pins and needles throughout my body began.
My final moments approached with unsparing mercy. A thought roused from the depths. Was this willing confinement freedom, or a self prescribed prison? Hesitation bombarded my brain. Coalescing a lapse in judgement with pride is a deadly concoction. I never gave forgiveness a chance. Numbness invades my imminent corpse.
The candle of my cognition was all but extinguished. A collage of disjointed dreams was all that remained. In my denouement all I could muster was to pray for oblivion to seize me. Heaven, hell, reincarnation, I renounced them all. My vision began to blur.
At last, I’m free of the yoke that is life. I welcomed the void with open arms.